10 Ways to Know You are the Parent of a Toddler

IMG_125110. You can have an entire conversation with your spouse while spelling out all the key words.

9. Your trips to Lowe’s or the grocery store always begin with a choice between red race car cart or blue race car cart.

8. Your diaper-changing skills have immensely improved over the past two years: from 2-minute/5 wipe changes to 10-second/1 wipe changes.

7. You now fully understand why your mother saved all those old Sesame Street books.

6. Multi-colored-play-things seem to reproduce at infestation levels in every room of your house.

5. Your parents and in-laws suddenly visit you way more frequently than they ever had a few years ago – and yet for some reason you are invisible to them.

4. You never knew you could accomplish so much between the hours of 2pm and 5pm.

3. You can recite the book Good Night, Moon by memory – backwards.

2. Your favorite part of flying with your family is experiencing the feeling of boarding the plane before all the rich executives board first class.

1. You are reminded daily of the wonders of the universe that we as adults have come to no longer appreciate – like the moon, ladybugs, the sound of the choo-choo train, and a successfully deposited poop.

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Jesse Joyner travels nationwide performing a comedy juggling act for family and kids events. He is also working towards his PhD in Educational Studies at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (Deerfield, IL). He enjoys playing the piano, bird watching, and old houses. He lives in Richmond, VA with his wife, Sarah, and their daughter, Kezzie.

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