Family | Jesse Joyner

The Best Family Ministry Event

Kezzie and me at our first Daddy/Daughter banquet in 2011 — Kezzie and me getting ready for our first Daddy/Daughter banquet in 2011

In my opinion, the best family ministry event a church can host surprisingly doesn’t include the whole family.

But in a way, it does.

I’m talking about the Father/Daughter Banquet. Some churches call it the Daddy/Daughter Dance or some other similar title.

My own church in Richmond, VA has been doing this for 3 years now and I have spoken at another one in Bettendorf, Iowa twice in the past 4 years. I actually took what I saw in Iowa 4 years ago and used it to implement the idea at our own church.

I think the Father/Daughter Banquet idea has the potential to become HUGE in terms of widespread outreach and effectiveness in communities across the world.

Here’s how is works (each one will have its own personality):

Dads or father-figures escort their daughters (of any age) to a formal dress-up evening with other Dads and daughters for a meal, a speaker, and/or entertainment.
There is a photo-booth area that will take pictures of each party.
The ideal time of year is February because of the Valentine’s theme and there really aren’t any other huge holidays to compete with in that month (so the decor is pink, red, hearts, bears, etc.).
The speaker/entertainer can speak on a topic having to do with fatherhood, but also must be interesting and fun at the same time.
If you’re into dancing, go ahead and get that disco ball turning and crank up the music. What a perfect time for Dads and daughters to break it down!
I think the best way to end this event is by having the Dads recite a prayer over their daughters while laying hands on them.

Here’s why this is so powerful a family ministry event:

Traditionally, whether by reality or perception, Dads usually don’t get that special one-on-one time with daughters. This is an opportunity to make space for this special connection between Dad and daughter.
One of the biggest needs of a woman of any age is to know that her Daddy thinks she is beautiful, strong, and full of God-given talent and worth. And to know that her father loves her.
I believe that one of the biggest factors (if not, the biggest) that can contribute to strong and healthy homes and societies is the role of the father. When Dad is absent, abusive, or passive, then whole families, communities, and societies crumble. Anything we can do to empower and encourage loving Dads and Dad-figures in the lives of girls and women will do more than we can imagine in terms of uplifting lives, homes, and communities.
And the best part of all – the people who get the most excited about these events are Moms! They don’t even come, but they are the best cheerleaders for the event. I don’t know if that’s because they get the night off, they get a one-on-one night with Junior, or if they also believe so strongly in encouraging healthy Daddy-daughter relations (maybe all three).

Try hosting one of these at your church next February. Invite the whole community, not just church members. Put out a few promos and watch word spread like wildfire. People LOVE the idea of this event and you might have the problem of running out of seats at your event.

Top 5 Games for Summer Camp

I travel to a lot of summer camps around the country each year. I have seen with my own eyes what games kids are drawn to the most throughout their given week of camp. And they are the same games no matter where you go. Kids are kids! Here are the 5 games that I see get the most playtime when I go to camps (in no particular order):

Dodgeball – Anyone who has worked with a group of 20 kids for more than an hour knows that all kids want to do in life is play dodgeball – forever. You can come up with plenty of variations of the game. But the basic idea of this game is every kids’ dream come true: throwing, dodging, catching, smacking, jail-break, you get the point. One word of caution: use those super soft throwing balls and NOT playground balls or anything harder. The kids WILL kill one another if you let them.
Gaga – This tiny arena game competes with dodgeball for “greatest camp game of all time.” You basically put about 20 kids into a small octagonal enclosure, give them a ball, and watch the dust (or mud) fly. They need to swap the ball at one another and knock opponents out by hitting them below the waist with the ball. It is every camper for him/herself.
Carpetball – If there was a world carpetball championship event, I would sign up for it. I thoroughly enjoy destroying lines of kids at this game. This is a long table covered in carpet or astro-turf. Each end of the table has a pocket that collects billiard balls. You place your own billiard balls on your end of the table and then try to knock your opponents’ billiard balls into their pocket by rolling the cue ball down the long table. One word of caution: this sends a lot of kids to the dental surgeon, because they all like to watch the game very closely and fast moving billiard balls and teeth are not a good combination.
Capture the Flag – Under the right kinds of rules and conditions, this can be the most fun part of camp. If it is all the counselors versus all the kids, then it is not very fun for the kids. You can do this with paintball guns, water guns, or simply by tagging or taking flag-football flags off one another. One word of caution: someone will get lost.
Swimming – This really isn’t a game, but this is the real reason why kids come to summer camp. They want to swim. If you run a summer camp and don’t have a pool or a lake, you need to get one.

Children and Animals in Eternity

I am intrigued with the fascination that children have with animals. Is it because many domestic animals are more approachable and manageable (size-wise) for children? Is it because the animals are fuzzy and furry? Are there a variety of factors? Regardless, I think we all have a little kid in us when we interact with animals.

kezzie and deer — Kezzie meets a friendly deer at a petting zoo in Hilton Head Island, SC.

And I believe we all came from the same Creator. And that we as humans are given the responsibility to care for and be stewards over His Creation, including the animals. According to Isaiah 11, the everlasting kingdom will be a place where “the child will play near the cobra’s den….they will neither harm nor destroy…” Here is the entire passage of Isaiah 11:6-9, also known as “The Peaceable Kingdom” passage:

⁶The wolf will live with the lamb,
    the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling together;
    and a little child will lead them.
⁷The cow will feed with the bear,
    their young will lie down together,
    and the lion will eat straw like the ox.
⁸The infant will play near the cobra’s den,
    and the young child will put its hand into the viper’s nest.
⁹They will neither harm nor destroy
    on all my holy mountain,
for the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord
    as the waters cover the sea.